As a Suicide attempt and loss survivor, I understand the sisters words. And in many ways her action of emailing the media.
Since losing my youngest son and child to Suicide in 2014, I have done nothing but research mental illness, health and Suicide as my second job.
I do recall telling my eldest son when the police were searching for Jaie, that if his little brother was serious about taking his own life, then until or unless Jaie accepted professional help, it was not an ‘if’ that he would kill him self. It was a when.
This is after working with various clients suffering from mental illness and having the opportunity to observe the difference between a client accepting help and one who refuses to and just thinks they can cope alone.
I also realised immediately, by what my eldest son was telling me, meant he was already starting to blame himself for what his little brother was about to do.
These comments are not made to remove hope. They are to create an environment of where people understand that research and education are invaluable to people helping loved ones through their struggles.
It tells survivors that their efforts to help are being recognised, but that there comes a time when the person who is unwell needs to step up and accept that they need to get professional assistance of some form.
I don’t understand why a family member speaking from a place of shock, loss and trauma would not be understood and recognised for their efforts to help their loved one.
The media are portraying this Suicide of Kate as a ‘shock’ and unexpected by everyone.
Well apologies dear media, but just because a person is famous, does not automatically give you rights to all of their personal issues and private struggles.
Kate’s sister is in shock.
She’s struggling to comprehend that her sister is deceased. She is struggling to understand why the media have to list who found Kate, where Kate was found and what method Kate used. She is trying to make some sense of an event which she had worked hard for years, to prevent.
So now, not only will Kate’s sister be overwhelmed with emotions of self-blame and guilt, the poor woman is now facing intense scrutiny from millions of strangers who will be making uneducated and judgmental statements about her immediate reaction in the face of immense shock, trauma and grief.
This poor sister is struggling to fathom that not only is her sister dead at her own hand, but the media is sharing every single detail of Kate’s death. The how, where and who found her.
The media should once again be the group being judged here, not a grieving family.
I now say to my eldest son, you did whatever was humanly possible with limited resources and experience with mental health skills.
Ask yourself, “Was there any malice in what you did? No there wasn’t because you know and I know that you would have taken a bullet to save your baby brother. There was no malice on your part.”
It appears now, that Kate’s sister is taking a rhetorical bullet for her sister, by sending out this email.
Kate Schuster from The Mighty also wrote and article on this email. The link is below.
‘Sometimes Love Comes Like a Dream & Leaves Like a Nightmare’
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